Chapter Seven - Unembraceable You
For the umpteenth time in numerous nights, Buffy found herself again in her White Knight's arms, but this time, they weren't dancing like they had done before. They were truly in an embrace, and this time when Buffy glanced to look at him, she saw his face as clear as day, she had begun to see him not through her eyes, but through her heart. Looking into this dream lover's eyes, Buffy kissed him, and pulled slowly away in a blush because she couldn't believe her boldness, although it was a dream. She looked up at him again and she saw him smile as he brushed a wisp of her blonde hair away from her cheek, kissing her there once, and then his lips found hers. Suddenly, he pulled away and began to walk away, leaving her all alone. She saw him walk towards Cordelia, take her hand, and with his free hand he waved good-bye and all Buffy could think was Xander was gone.
She sat up straight and shook her head in confusion. It was still dark out and Buffy peered at the clock beside her and noticed that it was not even five o'clock. She exhaled deeply and thought that it was another perfectly ruined dream of the White Knight, and as she saw it now, Xander. Never did she think she'd be dreaming of Xander, never. No one, not even Willow, was aware that she still dreamt of the White Knight a.k.a. Xander.
She had never liked walking in the halls seeing Xander with Cordelia, but now that she was beginning to truly care for him, she had begun to hate it. Everything was seemingly getting back to a state of normality, well, as normal as Sunnydale, California could get. And in a Sunnydale norm, Xander and Cordelia were together and they were constantly doing what Xander had described as touchy-feely stuff, and although Buffy wouldn't admit it, she was actually jealous of Cordelia.
Buffy could still remember the intensity that she had felt when he had kissed her, and the real thing was a million times better than a dream kiss, but that's all she was seemingly having and that's all it seemed she would ever get from Xander again. She touched her cheek with her hand, recalling how he had so silently, yet romantically said good-bye.
Her eyes fell to a cross that glinted on her rack as the moonlight shone upon its metal, it was one of Angel's gifts. She shuddered recalling all the recent wrongs done by Angelus, and although he was and had never been the Angel she knew, she couldn't help but see the good in the bad. Her feelings for Angel had altered somewhat after the revealing of his demonic side, and although she still loved the Angel of the past, she was beginning to come to grips that the past was the past and the present and future nothing like it. She had lost her heart to Angel, but in time she had found it again, and although the scars were still open wounds in need of healing, she knew she had to move on. Yet, to what? To Xander...who was with Cordelia?
Buffy shook her head and lay back down on her bed again, as she thought of random thoughts of her heart. They drifted to Angel...to Xander...to Angel...to Xander, etc., and she began to be lulled in a dream with these thoughts. There was Angel, her vampire with a soul of whom she had loved with all her heart and then there was Xander, her white knight who she was beginning to love. Sighing, she mumbled these aimless thoughts to herself, and the last thought that lingered stayed and befell her lips before she went into a rather deep sleep was, "Xander..."