Chapter Twelve - Determined
Cordelia held her composure when she heard the news of Xander and Buffy from various people during school. Held it still when she had to pass by him in the hall and share a class with Buffy during third period history. Never once throughout the entirety of that day did she let her poise falter, until the mere words of gossip hit her of the extent of their truth.
It was by chance that she saw them in the hall that day. She had opted to take the longer route to her cheerleaders' meeting as opposed to the shorter route and had bumped into the couple in the hall. Buffy was noticeably holding hands with Xander and they had been laughing over some inside joke, but when they spotted her in the hall the laughter quickly subsided. At that moment, Cordelia came to grips with the reality that the relationship she had known with Xander was truly over in his eyes and that she had lost somehow in her scheme of things. The conversation was brief and awkward and they parted not soon after their first encounter with each other.
As she walked towards the room where the meeting was to be held, something in her caused her to turn back and sit down in contemplation on a nearby bench. She couldn't conceive how it was possible that everything that she had planned to the utmost detail had gone awry. The Colin plan was the only thing that had worked, and the only problem with it was that it had worked all too well. Cordelia had wanted to make Xander jealous and she had accomplished just that, however, she had never thought that he would break up with her over one dance. She had to keep her pride, and despite the drab personality of Colin Williams and her missing Xander, that meant she had to continue to date Colin as if she liked him…which she didn't.
She shook her head in frustration and in doing so she closed her eyes, and saw the image of their clasped hands had seared itself into her memory. It made her recall how she and Xander use to do the same thing, which brought her to the memories of their short, but sweet relationship. How was it that she got the short end of the stick, when she was the one that was trying so hard to keep him in her arms? There was the keyword…try, but in trying all she had succeeded was pushing him farther away from her…more than he had ever been before.
A wave of realization hit her even quicker than the surge of sadness that had overcome her just minutes before. It made her realize that she was going about this all wrong by just sitting around and brooding over him. After all, she was Cordelia Chase, and what Cordelia Chase wants…she gets…no matter the cost.