Chapter Fifteen


Xander flew into Willow's room breathless and said, "W-w-willow, have you…seen B-Buffy?"

He glanced over to the blonde figure that stood beside her and swallowed, unsure of what to do or what to say. Her eyes fell to the floor and would not meet his at any of his attempts to catch a glance. Willow could feel the tension that grew with every passing second and she felt very out of place in the middle of all of this…unsure as to what exactly was going on. All she knew at that point in time was that she had to get out of the room and they had to stay there, to talk, to yell, to scream…it didn't matter, as long as words were said and the deafening silence ceased.

Willow crept slowly away and they glanced at her as she departed, closing the door behind her. The silence continued even after she had left and the tension even worst than before. Buffy made a move to sit in one of the student desks and he followed her lead, sat beside her, and just looked at her. Feeling his throat tighten, he wanted to say so much, but lacked the words to do so.

She finally broke the stillness as she glanced at him and said, "Xander, what do you want?"

"I want to talk to you, Buffy, to try to explain - " he began feeling a sudden dryness in his mouth.

Her eyes met his in anger as she stood up indignantly to interrupt him, "Explain? What is there to explain Xander? Do you want to give me the mechanics on how to give and get major suck face with an ex?"

"Buffy, I didn't kiss her…she kissed me," he insisted with an exasperated sigh as he stood up from his seat, "She wanted to get back at me for dumping - "

"Last I recall…it takes two to kiss," she replied hotly, "Whatever you have to say…your so-called reasons…I don't want to - "

Her words were muffled as Xander took her in his arms and pressed his lips gently against hers. There was some initial hesitation on Buffy's part, but her anger dissolved with every passing second, and thus she relented. She felt what she always felt when he kissed her, as if she could stay there forever. Needless to say, there was much reluctance between the both of them to part, but they did.

She smiled as she met his eyes with her own, as did he when he replied, "Buffy, a person can kiss someone and that someone, no matter how much passion and heart that is in it, or what's not in it, may not feel anything from it at all. A kiss is only kiss when everything in it is felt and shared. Believe me, I didn't kiss her…she kissed me, and I felt nothing from it."

Buffy sighed, contemplated, and despite her disincline, she slipped out of his embrace, "I - I believe you, Xander, it's j-just that when I saw you…with her, and she was…I - I don't know…I just… I know how much she cared for you, and how much you cared for her, and despite that I think I know what you feel about me, in the back of mind, I - I can't help but think that you two still have something."

"First off, to get rid of the 'I think' I heard…I love you, Buffy…to a fault…always have, and I know, even though I'm 17, I'll always will. Whatever comes along, changes us or changes everything else, I'll always have you in my heart," he said reaching out for her hand and placing it on his heart, before he continued, "Secondly, me and Cordy… no…not quite humanly, and I use that word sparingly, possible. Still, wouldn't mind it if she were still my friend, y'know, Cordy's all right, once you get passed her ego, her power trips, and her want of shoes."

"Yeah, well, you've got a point…it's kind of weird not having her complain about the dust, the chairs, the vampires, the books…um…everything, during our usual meetings," Buffy retorted, and then she paused. "Wait a minute, are we saying we actually miss…Cordy?"

Xander raised his eyebrows and said, "That's a new concept…missing Cordelia…are you sure that…never mind. Can we just not talk about Cordy, right now?"

"Right," she replied as she walked towards him, he put his arms around her, and her thoughts drifted to the yellow disk, "We have to talk about us…I have to tell-"

"But didn't we just go through the whole…we talking about us thing?" he responded, "Y'know the whole 'kiss-and-makeup' scenario."

"Admittably…yeah, but, uh, that 'kiss' part…" she touched her index finger against her lips before pressing it softly on his, the memory of the yellow disk had drifted away temporarily, "I don't know it's kind of like a hazy memory."

"Well…I think I can probably solve…" he began, but before he knew it, their lips met and there were no misgivings in that kiss.