Chapter Twenty

Xander walked towards the door as the ceremony to restore Angel's soul began to take place, but he gave a reassuring smile to Buffy before he left. She returned his grin and mouthed, "Love ya," as Willow began to speak the Latin words. He nodded and answered with a silent, "I love you, too…good luck."

The atmosphere in the library was too intense for him to handle. It was as if an invisible smoke had seeped into the room, causing his lungs and throat to tighten, so much that he could barely breath. Once outside, he began to feel better, but whatever might have occurred today to make the day better, no matter what, today was going to stay decidedly gloomy.

"Xander…are you all right?" Giles asked feeling rather unwanted since he had no part in the spell.

The 17-year-old smiled, "Um…yeah…I guess, if you can call a day good when your girlfriend decides to resurrect her ex…I'm doing fine…I'm surfin' cloud nine."

Giles game him a look, "Xander…"

He sighed, "Okay…so I'm not feeling too great about all of this, but I'm dealing…I'll be fine."

"There are certain things that Buffy feels she must do…this being one of them. I hope that with this she can find the closure she's been looking for," he said with a sigh.

"Yeah…I know, no matter how hard she tries to hide it, this whole Angel thing has got her maxi wigged and she thinks it's all her fault, but I don't blame her for anything. I don't think Angel would blame her for anything…it was one of those wicked hexes in life, y'know? Something you never thought would happen," Xander said and then he eyed the Watcher carefully, "Kinda like how Ms. Calendar's death is your wicked hex."

Giles glanced up at the young man and a painful look struck his face, "Y-yes…I suppose you can say that, Xander…I miss her, I really do."

"What I don't understand is…why do you want Angel back…if technically he killed Ms. Calendar?"

"It's not so simple as that," was his reply, "I hate Angelus with all the rage in my heart, obviously, for what he did to Jenny, but I can't hate Angel for doing something he had no control over. It was Jenny's want to bring him back…to not feel guilty, and I rather hope she didn't feel guilty in death…and if she did…I'd rather wish I can't take that guilt and make it go away. Well, I suppose I better get back into the library, just in case, but you do understand what I mean?"

Xander nodded, as the librarian began to walk away, "Yeah…I know what you're talking about, and G-man?"

"Yes, Xander?" Giles said as he opened the door.

Smiling, he replied, "I hope you get your wish."